i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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