I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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