I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
