69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize