Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
