I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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