The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize