dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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