so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize