Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
