plz talk dirty to me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize