remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You pole danced in your parka.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
