can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
