I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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