he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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