Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it's like iHOP with fire
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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