After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
