Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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