i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Jerry, you need to find god
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
