It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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