shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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