community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
