I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
That accounts for only three of the penises
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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