You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
