im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
