my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
