I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Me. At least after what I've been through.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
