I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
