She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
