I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
