I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
