I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
