Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
