So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
