I'm really into asian looking animals
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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