It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
