I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
