Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
