The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
