im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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