Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
