Im at strip club and am horny
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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