Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize