The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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