it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
