My brain says no but my pants say off.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
