Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize