This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
