wanna go halves on a baby?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
