Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
