Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
