can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
