His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
