but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize