no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
