this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
