lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
