Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
