I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just found puke in my bra..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
