Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
